We moved to a small town where my husband was assigned as a minister to a local congregation. I was unpacking one day when the phone rang. A voice on the other end said, “Your name was given tome as a possibility for a mentor in our school.” Knowing very few people in town, I tried to imagine who might have volunteered me for this.Realizing the lady was waiting for an answer, I replied, “Let me think about it and call you back.”I returned to my unpacking, but my mind was busy going over all the reasons I couldn’t be a mentor. I wasn’t even a parent, so how could I work with kids. I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t really have the time. What if the child didn’t like me? My list of excuses (uh, I mean reasons) was growing by the minute and I did a pretty good job of talking myself out of it.
I was still hesitant, but placed a call to the school and agreed to bea mentor. The lady in the office said, “I have a fourth grade girl whoreally needs some help. Just sign in at the school office and we askthat you come one hour each week.” The only other things I knew wereher name, Sarah, and that she came from a poor home situation.
I was nervous as I arrived for our first mentoring session. I was shownto Sarah’s classroom and introduced to her. A room down the hall wasavailable for us to meet in and off we went. I sensed this was going tobe a “long” hour. Nothing prepared me for what happened that day.
Wanting to put Sarah at ease, I said, “Let me tell you a little aboutmyself and then you can tell me about yourself.” So, I rattled offsome facts and then waited for her to talk. Total silence greeted me.Her long hair hung across her face and she didn’t even look at me whenI was talking. We sat in silence for a few minutes and it soon becameobvious she wasn’t going to share any information about herself. I hadto think of something quick.
Questions—wasn’t that how you got information from others? “Tell meabout your family.” When that didn’t get any response, I tried, “Whatare your favorite subjects in school?” Then I ventured, “Do you haveany favorite foods?” Nothing. Not even a faint shrug of her shoulders.All my fears that I would fail at this came rushing in at once. Howcould I help a child when she wouldn’t even speak to me?
Not knowing what else to do I said, “Why don’t we go back to youclassroom?” She almost bolted from the room and was down thehall and back in her class before I could even say good-by to her.I prayed about this over the next week and decided to give it alittle more time.
I went back over the next several weeks and the scene wasrepeated over and over. I asked questions; she sat in silence.Her teacher assured me Sarah was benefiting from these sessions,but I failed to see what good I was doing. Then one week,something different happened.
I had just asked Sarah another question when she looked at meand said, “You ask too many questions.” After I recovered fromthe shock of hearing her speak, I told her that one way to get meto stop asking questions was for her talk. From that time on, webegan to make progress in our relationship.
Bit by bit, she began to share about herself. I want to be a beauticianwhen I graduate from high school,” she would often tell me. Sincemost of her family never went beyond ninth or tenth grade, this wassurprising to hear from her. We celebrated such things as improvedgrades and the fact that she was becoming more assertive in expressingherself. On the rare occasion when I’d see her parents, they would tellme that Sarah talked about me all the time. I was thrilled to watch herblossom and I hoped that one day we might even be able to talk aboutChristianity.
Sarah knew that I was a pastor’s wife, but I did bring up matters offaith with her as I didn’t feel that was my role with her in that setting.As we grew more comfortable with each other, she would occasionallymention church, but nothing deeper.
Sarah surprised me one day by greeting me with, “Can I call you onthe phone sometime?” I was pleased she felt that safe with me andagreed she could call once a week. When she did call, there wouldbe a period of silence and then I’d hear, “Hi,” followed by more silence.After some discussion about how to have a telephone conversation,she began to be more at ease on the phone and would sometimeschat with me as if we were girlfriends. The staff at school couldn’tbelieve she was calling me and sharing herself so freely.
Sarah and I began our relationship when she was in the fourth gradeand continued till she was in high school. We moved at that time,but I still got the occasional phone call from her to fill me in on whatwas happening. One day I received a very special call from Sarah.
In numerous phone calls Sarah had mentioned that she was goingto a church near where she lived. I had encouraged her to keepdoing so, but really hadn’t pushed her to make any kind of commitment.In one of her last phone calls to me she stated, “I went forward atchurch and accepted Christ last Sunday and was baptized.” Whata joyous announcement that was to hear!
I haven’t heard from Sarah in quite some time, but she is always inmy heart and my prayers. Sometimes I reflect on the fact thatI almost didn’t take the time to be a mentor to Sarah, it grievesme to think that I thought there was no time in my life to help her.
I pray that Sarah’s life will continue to move in positive directionsbecause of our relationship. She certainly blessed my life.
I hope you will consider giving of your time and talents to a childin need. Please let a child know that someone believes in them.I think of it as an investment in our future. Be a mentor!
I wonder where would I be today without the support of somany wonderful people. And, where would this child be if I hadn’t taken.
Aano bhadra krtavo yantu vishwatah.(- RIG VEDA)
“Let noble thoughts come to me from all directions”