1. You arrive one hour late to a party and find out you are the first one to arrive.
2. You think it’s perfectly normal to call someone who’s 30 years younger than you ‘Anna just Because he’s behind a counter.
3. You wear a suit to a wedding… And you are only 3 years old.
4. The wedding takes an hour and the group pictures take five hours.
5. Your mom and sister together own more jewels than a Chinese jewelers store.
6. Your parents’ idea of a vacation is to visit the temples in India .
7. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
8. The minute your guests leave the house, your parents start talking about them.
9. You rent a cassette from the grocery store, it’s been dubbed 6 times… And you return it 3 months later.
10. You go to a Tamil Cultural program only to find one Bharathanatyam and six hip hop shows.
11. You are somehow related to every new friend you meet.
12. Your remote control is still in its plastic packet.
13. You get a 95% on a test and your parents ask What happened to the other 5%?!’
14. You stare at Tamil people when they walk by.
15. You see married couples kissing on TV but have never your Mom & Dad get within 3 feet of each another.
16. Your parents never address each other by name.
17. When you get your first part-time job, your parents expect you to give them half..
18. Your mother has a minor dispute with her sister-in law and doesn’t talk to her for 10 years.
19. Your parents say Swiss instead of Switzerland, Germany is German and England is London .
20. You go to a party and your aunt comments on how your skin color has changed.
21. You watch a Tamil wedding tape and all the songs from Roja are dubbed into it.
22. When the teacher took attendance and there was a sudden pause, you put your hand up and said ‘here.’
23. You shortened your name to make it sound Anglo-Indian.
24. You have dinner at 10pm.
25. When your parents say ‘BBC’ they don’t mean the news station but your uncle Nathan or aunty Kamala.
26. It’s normal for all the relatives to bathe the groom on his wedding day.
27. You KNOW that your promiscuous second cousin from your father’s side is pregnant even before she does.
28. Your aunties tease you about a particularly eligible cousin… And you like it!!!
29. You serve all your guests tea with milk and 5 spoons of sugar.
30. You only stop putting more rice on your guests dinner plate 7 times after they tell you to stop.
31. Anytime you speak back to your parents, you get: ‘I toiled my life for you, and this is how you repay me?!’
– ‘Naanga eppadi khasta pattathukku nee ithuvum solluvae ithukku melayum solluvae!’
32. If you are a girl, you are expected to come home before dark – however if it’s a son, ‘OK rasa, jaakirathaa poitu vaa…’
33. Halfway through your shower you realize that your Head and Shoulders shampoo is gone and has been replaced by Siyakkai shampoo
34. You walk in to another Tamil family’s house and they have the same furniture and dining set as yours.
Last but not least
35. You are a true Tamil if you forward this mail to another Tamil.