Monthly Archives: January 2013

Does age influence our dating choices?

A recent study by a matchmaking website in the UK reveals that women’s taste in men changes as they get older. We ask experts if this is true.

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Who ever thinks that age is just a number — and has no bearing on our dating choices — would do well to look at the findings of a recent study in the UK.
The study, conducted by a matchmaking website, reveals that as women become more mature, their preferences and taste in men change. We get experts to explain why it happens…
Psychiatrist Anjali Chhabria says the findings of the study are true — not only for women, but men, too. People seek different things at different points in life. Our choices in partners will also reflect this change.
She says, “What we want from a relationship when we are 16 may depend on peer pressure, hormones, ego-boost, etc. But at 25, relationships may depend more on a person’s social and emotional needs. As you grow older, a relationship may depend on how much emotional, mental and financial support it gives you. This change, in my observation, is present regardless of a person’s gender.”
Psychologist Mansi Hasan agrees. She says, “At 20, one may want to look cool in front of friends by having a boyfriend who is everybody’s blue-eyed boy. But at 30, a woman needs a man who can take care of her and handle the responsibility of a family. At that stage, she seeks stability and security, because she is ready to start a family. Looks may no longer be a priority. In their 40’s and 50’s, women not only want a husband, but also a friend and companion who fulfils her in more than one way. Even men go through these changes. However, for them, physical attraction is as significant an aspect as emotional compatibility when it comes to long-lasting relationships.”
Keep the spark alive
As we keep evolving as individuals, it will get difficult to maintain the spark in a relationship. Changing expectations from life and the pressures of modern lifestyles also strain ties. To keep the spark alive, one needs to constantly work at it. Here’s what you can do.
Explore yourself: If you are busy finding faults with your partner, without considering how you may have changed, too, it will harm the relationship. You make an effort first. Do small things to make your partner happy.
Grow together: Every phase comes with fresh excitement and responsibilities. Discuss your inhibitions with each other. At various stages, you will discover different aspects of yourself, your partner and your relationship. Grow not only as individuals, but even as partners. It’s important to learn from mistakes and appreciate each other’s strengths.
Expectations create havoc: It’s impossible not to have expectations, but being a bit realistic and lenient can go a long way. Also, focus on your partner’s strengths, not weaknesses.
Take time out: Spend time with each other doing fun things, like you would have done during the initial days of your relationship. Invest time.
Build intimacy: Touching, holding hands, cuddling and kissing help re-build intimacy. Saying ‘I love you’, ‘I am sorry’ and ‘I miss you’ go a long way. These words, when taken for granted and unuttered, widen the gap in a relationship.
Blame game: Avoid blame games to resolve conflicts. On the contrary, it worsens the situation.

Comparisons: Don’t compare your relationship with those of your parents, friends or extended family. Each relationship is different just as each person is.
‘We’ time instead of ‘Me’ time: It’s important for everyone to have some space, but not so much that it creates a void.

What the study reveals:
Here’s what women seek in their ‘Mr Right’ as they grow older

Age 18-24:
A physically attractive man will enjoy the attention of these young women. They tend to be superficial and are only looking for someone they can show off. At this age, they have carried over — from adolescence — their desire to fit in and belong. So, they seek friends’ approval to validate their choices.

Age 25-34:
More likely to consider long-term relationships, they will be attracted to young, ambitious, charming and handsome men. Sexual compatibility is also important for women at this age. As women grow confident and work towards success, they are likely to be attracted to partners who mirror these qualities.
Age 35-44:
These women could be attracted to an older man — someone who is established, stable, successful and experienced in life. Such a man offers the depth of resources (both material and emotional) required for a successful partnership.

Age 45-54:
With changing hormone levels, they become more assertive and experimental and also start celebrating their wisdom. These women are prepared to take risks and seek new adventures. While they are not afraid to search for passion, they understand that security is important.

Age 55+:
These women look for intelligence, shared values and a sense of humour. They are also likely to be more picky.

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Colleagues don’t like to be called ‘honey’!

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New South Wales north coast health workers cannot address their colleagues or patients with words such as ‘mate’, after a memo stated it was inappropriate.

The memo, which was sent out by the Northern NSW Local Health District, told workers that these terms may be perceived as disrespectful, disempowering and non-professional, the ABC News reports.

The other terms that were mentioned as being inappropriate were ‘darling’, ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey’.

The memo said that the directives are in line with the NSW ministry code of conduct, news.com.au reports.

“The utilisation of this language within the work place at any time is not appropriate and may be perceived as disrespectful, disempowering and non-professional,” the memo said.

“This type of language should not be used across any level of the organisation such as employee to employee or employee to client,” it added.

According to the report, the controversial memo comes as former Lieutenant-Governor of New South Wales James Spigelman addressed the Australian Human Rights Commission on freedom of speech.

He said that on the issue of regulating hate discourse, Australia could not afford to shift so far as to impinge on freedom of speech.

“The freedom to offend is an integral component of freedom of speech. There is no right not to be offended,” he said.

“Words such as ”offend” and ”insult”, impinge on freedom of speech in a way that words such as ”humiliate”, ”denigrate,” ”intimidate”, ”incite hostility” or ”hatred” or ”contempt”, do not. To go beyond language of the latter character, in my opinion, goes too far,” he added.

“None of Australia”s international treaty obligations require us to protect any person or group from being offended,” he said, adding: “We are, however, obliged to protect freedom of speech.”

Navagraha Sthothram :

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1. Japaa kusuma Sankaasam – Kaasyapeyam Mahaath’ yuthim
Thamo’urim sarva Paapa ganam – Pranathosmi Dhiwaakaram.

One who looks like the Hibiscus flower, Son of Kashyapa, full of radiance,
Foe of darkness and the one who dispells all sins, I prostrate that Soorya.

2. Dhadhi sanka Thushaaraabham – Ksheero Dhaarnava Sambhavam
Namaami sasinam Somam – Sambhor makuta Bhooshanam.

The one who has the hue of curd and icebergs, one who emerges from the milky ocean, Chandra who adorns Shiva, I prostrate. that Chandra.

3. Dharanee garbha Sambhootham – Vidhyuth kaanthi Samaprabham
Kumaaram Sakthi Hasthancha – Mangalam Pranamaam Yaham.

The one who is the son of Bhooma Devi, One who has the lustre of lightning,
One who has Shakthi in his hand, and the auspoicious one, I prostrate that Angaraka.

4. Piryangu kali Kaasyaamam – Roope’naa Prathimam Budham
Sowmyam sowmya Gunopetham – Tham Bhudham Pranamaam Yaham.

The one who is dark like the bud of Priyangu flower, One who is unequalled in beauty and is intelligent, And the son of Chandra, One who is peaceful, I prostrate that Budha.

5. Dhe’vaanaancha Risheenaancha – Gurum Kaanchan sannibham
Bhudhdhi bhootham Thrilokesam – Thannamaami Bhruhaspathim.

The one who is the Guru of the Devas and Rishis, the one who is radiant and intelligent, The Lord of all the three worlds, I prostrate that Brihaspathi.

6. Hima kundha M’runaalaabam – Dhaithyaanam Paramam Gurum
Sarva saasthra Pravruththaaram – Bhaargavam Pranamaam Yaham.

The one who has the lustre of the dew, Lotus stem and Thumba flower, High priest of Asuras
and the one who preaches the Shatras, I prostrate that ( Bhargava )Sukracharya.

7. Neelaanchana Samaabaasam – Raviputhram Yamaagrajam
Chaayaa Maarthaanda Sambhootham – Thannamaami Sanaicharam.

The one who is blue, one who is like charcoal, one who is the son of Surya and the brother of Yama, one who is born to Chaya and Surya, I prostrate that Saneeswara.

8. Ardha kaayam mahaaveeyram – Chandhraadhithya vimardhanam
Simhikaagarba Sambhootham – Tham Raahum Pranamaam Yaham.

The one who has half a body and is full of valour, One who opposes Chandra and Surya without fear, One who was born from Simhika’s womb, I prostrate that Rahu.

9. Palaasa pushpa sankaasam – Thaarakagraha masthakam
Rowdhram rowdhraathmakam go’ram – Tham Kethum Pranamaam Yaham.