“Attachment in Detachment “

“Attachment in Detachment ” —– Written by Sudha Murti
When my daughter, the older of my two, wed and left home, I felt a part of me gone.

With a daughter and a son, I know what both mean, differently.

When she was in her teens I felt as if she was my “physical extension” !

So when she left home to set up her own, I felt I lost a limb.

Next time she came to stay with us, I was astonished how her priorities had changed.

We too must’ve given the same shocks to our own parents !

When she said Amma,
she meant her mother-in-law, not me!

I felt she was always in a hurry to go back to her house and not stay with me for a few more days.

That was the first time, it dawned on me that I have to start practising detachment with attachment.

Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher studies to US.

Having experienced a child’s separation once, I was better equipped emotionally.

I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from vedanta to healing to ikebana –
I just wanted to be away from home..since my husband was a 24/7 workaholic.

My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us …

After a few years, he did come back and we got him married.

He started living separately with his wife and we were also happy that they wanted to be independant from the beginning…

But now, it was all changed !

When in the U S, he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, it was always some excuse like “oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please don’t mistake us if we don’t drop in today” !

I could see that his priorities had also changed completely..

We talk so many things and give so much advice to others, but when it comes to our own children, acceptance comes very late. Our next step is to just leave them undisturbed
in every way.

It was at that time, that I made the following, my ‘new profile’.

In all my relationships , rather interactions, I give my best and do my best to live up to what I say.

My attachment with them is complete.

However, I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection.

Most importantly, I make a conscious effort , not to interfere or pass judgements on the lives they choose to lead.

My concern for my near and dear ones will not fade with my detachment.

If you let go of the ones you love, they will never go away –
this is the beauty of attachment with detachment !

I have learnt to love and let go.

This dictum has developed tolerance in me.

When I let the people live the way they want to, I learn to accept them for what they are.

Most importantly ,
I learn to tolerate the world around me and this tolerance brings in me a sense of peace and contentment.

Since both my children live in Chennai, I follow this very strictly, you know why !

Now I have realised that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house and we have to tackle the emotional vacuum, that arises, along with age-related problems .

I specially dedicate this post to my friends, who are totally dependant on their children’s lives, to nurture their own selves emotionally.

Please develop your own intersts, hobbies etc, however mundane they seem to be..

We must learn
To love whatever we do
instead of
Doing whatever we love !!

Put AC at 25+ degrees and put the Fan on at slow speed.

Put AC at 25+ degrees and put the Fan on at slow speed.
Very useful information sent by an executive engineer from EB:
Correct use of AC:
As hot summer has started and we use Air conditioners regularly, let us follow the correct method.

Most people have a habit of running their ACs at 20-22 degrees and when they feel cold, they cover their bodies with blankets. This leads to double loss. HOW ???

Do you know that the temperature of our body is 35 degrees Celsius? The body can tolerate temperature ranging from 23 degrees to 39 degrees easily. It is called human body temperature tolerance.

When the Room temperature is lower or higher, the body reacts, by sneezing, shivering, etc.

When you run the AC at 19-20-21 degrees, room temperature is much lower than the normal body temperature and it starts the process called hypothermia in the body which affects blood circulation, whereby, blood supply in some parts of the body is not adequate. There are many disadvantages in long term such as arthritis etc.

Most of the time there is no sweating when AC is ON, so the toxins of the body can not come out and in the long term, cause risk of many more diseases, such as skin allergy or itching, high blood pressure etc.

When you run AC at such low temperatures, it’s compressor continuously works on full energy, even if it is 5 stars, excessive power is consumed & it blows money from your pocket.

What is the best way to run AC ?? Set up Temperatures for 25 Degrees.
You don’t get any benefit by first setting Temperature of AC to 20 – 21 and then wrap the sheet/ thin Quilt around you.
It is always better to run AC at 25+ degrees and put the fan on at slow speed.

This will cost less electricity and your body temperature will also be in the range and there will be no ill effect on your health.

Another advantage of this is that the AC will consume less electricity, the blood pressure on the brain will also decrease and Saving will ultimately help reduce the effects of global warming. How ??

Suppose you save about 5 units per AC per night by running AC on 26 Degree and other 10 lakh houses also do like you then we save 5 million units of electricity per day.

At the regional level this savings can be crores of units per day.

Please consider the above and do not run your AC at all below 25 degrees. Keep your body and environment healthy.


In the world of herbal medicine, neem is a popular medicinal herb that’s been part of traditional remedies that date back almost 5000 years. Also known as Azadirachta Indica in English or ‘Neemba’ in Sanskrit, the neem tree is a really good example of how nature holds both the problem and the cure. Its home to more than 130 different biologically active compounds! No wonder it’s such an effective anti-viral and anti-bacterial, along with being a powerful immune-stimulant.

Medicinal properties of Neem
Neem is just about anti-everything:
* anti-viral
* anti-septic
* anti-diabetic
* anti-fungal
* blood-purifying
* spermicidal
Yes, spermicidal. Neem also shows great promise as a natural means of birth control.
• Neem contains chemicals that might help reduce blood sugar levels, heal ulcers in the digestive tract, prevent conception, kill bacteria and prevent plaque formation in the mouth.
• Treat that zit: Grind a few neem leaves, make a paste and apply it daily till the acne dries out. The paste also helps any kind of eruptions, dark spots and chronic ulcers.
• Ear ailments: Blend some neem leaves and add some honey to it. Use a few drops of this mix to treat any ear boils.
• Other skin disorders: Turmeric combined with a paste of neem leaves can also be used for itching, eczema, ring worms and some mild skin diseases.
• Blood Purifier. Purifies the blood and removes toxins from the body thereby improving overall health and skin.
• Detoxifier: Removes toxins from the liver and the body. Almost all bitter herbs have the quality of lowering blood sugar, purifying the blood, reducing levels of toxins and boosting the immune system.
• Immunobooster. Boosts the overall immune system. Works well against skin infections and other viral infections including colds, flu, etc. Useful in herpes, hepatitis and other viral and fungal infections including AIDS. Also helpful in warts (HPV). Its broad spectrum of activity makes it a good immunebooster.
Many natural health experts recommend daily intake of neem capsules.
• Lowers Blood sugar hence is used to help control sugar levels in Diabetes. Is used often in anti-diabetes poly herbal medicines.
• Regular use helps in preventing spikes in blood sugar levels and lowers overall blood sugar level.
• Helps treat pimples and other skin diseases.
• It is an excellent herb that improves the skin tone and quality. Does both, heals patients with skin problems as well as an aid to beauty.

• Neem paste to treat scars and blemishes. Grind a cup of Neem leaves and add two teaspoons of turmeric and one teaspoon of lime and honey. Apply the paste on the face for twenty minutes, and do this twice a week. Gently rub the chin and the cheeks in circular motion, and the neck in vertical moves. Wash off with cold water; the antibacterial properties will heal blemishes and scars in no time.
• Detox with Neem. If you are fair-skinned, use Neem to create radiant skin

.Neem belong to (sacred or holy) herbs in the herbal kingdom.

• Neem leaves are dried and placed within clothes and in rice bins to keep away infestation.
• Unlike many other large trees of its size, when a Neem tree comes up near a building its roots stay away from the foundations and do not damage them.
• The Neem tree along with the Oak, the Holy Fig and Banyan trees have been regarded as some of the finest of trees to sit under for spiritual reflection and meditation.
• Neem has been proven to reduce stress and relax muscles producing an effect conducive to sleep- a tea of neem before sleep at night,

Pollachi Case: “I thought you are my friend. I trusted you”

Pollachi Case: “I thought you are my friend. I trusted you”

How did these men build trust on their victims?

How does one who meet someone on Facebook build trust?

First is following, second friend request, third, liking posts, fourth sending private messages, fifth Constant contact over chat. Graduating to WhatsApp with phone number sharing. Starting from “Hi, how are you today?” And slowly but progressively Sharing one’s life. Men share what women want to hear. Women share everything.

What lessons on using social media have we learned?

1. Social media is dangerous in the hands of women who are unable to distinguish between safe and unsafe connections

2. Men are following you online because they think you are great looking, sexy, and attractive. Wrong. They are following to see if you are “gettable”

3. More male followers you have, the more admirers you have. Wrong. There are more people who believe you are vulnerable.

4. Men find you on social media through search engine and find their “prey”: who next to target? True. The search feature allows location wise searching but most targets are found through friend’s friends. So beware of who are your friends’ friends.

5. When someone sends you a text message, you must respond. Wrong. Never respond unless you know the person, Male or female.

6. Female friends are “safe” connections. Wrong. Some males pose as females on social media to gain your friendship.

7. All my friends are known to me for many years and are safe connections. Wrong. People grow and change. Some get into bad ways and make bad connections. So even if you trust your friend, beware of connections she has.

8. I can share all my pictures on Facebook. True but be selective and restrict only few friends can see some of them.

9. I trust men who are “open” with me. The more “open” a man is, the more “open” you become and he knows everything about you. Never fall for “open” ness among men.

10. Basic rules on social media are:
a) Never chat with strangers.
b) Never reveal or exchange phone numbers, or address;
c) Never share updates or whereabouts publicly, never share location updates with men you meet online or offline;
d) never share intimate pictures,
e) never burst out on social media and allow someone to know your vulnerability and take advantage of your weakness.
f) Your “Facebook” is a revelation of your life, thoughts, activities, opinions, and lifestyle. Choose what you want to share with whom.

What a nice idea !

What a nice idea !

Time Bank:
Swiss Time Bank

A student studying abroad in Switzerland observes the country in Switzerland:

While studying in Switzerland, I rented a house near the school. The landlord Kristina is a 67-year-old single old lady who worked as a teacher in a secondary school before she retired. Switzerland’s pension is very rich, enough not to make her worry about eating and drinking in her later years. However, it is puzzling that she actually found a “work” – to take care of an 87-year-old single old man. I asked if she was working for money. Her answer surprised me: “I did not work for money, but I put my time in the ‘time bank’, and when I couldn’t move at old age, I could withdraw it.”
The first time I heard about the concept of “time bank”, I was very curious and asked the landlord thoroughly. The original “Time Bank” was an old-age pension program developed by the Swiss Federal Ministry of Social Security. People saved the time of taking care of the elderly when they were young, and waited until they were old, ill or needed care. Applicants must be healthy, good at communicating and full of love. Every day they have plenty of time to look after the elderly who need help. Their service hours will be deposited into the personal accounts of the social security system. She went to work twice a week, spending two hours each time, to help the elderly shopping, finishing the room, taking the elderly out to sunbathe, chatting with the elderly. According to the agreement, after one year of her service expiry, “Time Bank” will count out her working hours and issue her a “time bank card”. When she needs someone to take care of her, she can use her “time bank card” to “time bank” to withdraw “time and time interest”. After the information verification is passed, “Time Bank” will assign volunteers to take care of her to the hospital or her home. .
One day, I was in school and the landlady called and said she fell off the stool when she wiped the window. I quickly took leave and sent her to the hospital for treatment. The landlady broke her ankle and needed to stay in bed for a while. While I was preparing to apply for a holiday home to take care of her, the landlady told me that I did not have to worry about her. She had already submitted a withdrawal request to the “Time Bank”. Sure enough, less than two hours, “Time Bank” sent a nursing worker to come to care for the landlord. In the following month, the care worker took care of the landlord every day, chatted with her and made delicious meals for her. Under the meticulous care of the carer, the landlady soon recovered to health. After recovering, the landlady went back to “work”. She said that she intends to save time in the “time bank” when she is still healthy, and wait until she can’t move.
Today, in Switzerland, the use of “time banks” to support old age has become a common practice. This not only saves the country pension expenses, but also solves some other social problems. Many Swiss citizens are very supportive of this kind of old-age pensions. The survey conducted by the Swiss pension organization shows that more than half of Swiss young people also want to participate in this type of old-age care service. The Swiss government also specializes in legislation to support the “Time Bank” pension.
At present, the number of “empty-nest old people” in Asian countries are continuously increasing and it has gradually become a social problem. Switzerland’s use of “time bank” pension may be a good reference for us. – Friends THINK for such good idea in Indian format.

Dr. Sunil Jajit HR L&T

Dr. Sunil Jajit HR L&T

Just because I am holding a senior position in HR with L&T, I have been getting many requests from my relatives, friends, acquaintances, to help their sons or daughters, who have freshly passed out from engineering college, to get job in L&T. The number of requests are huge. So many fresh engineers are unemployed, I could hardly helped only few of them to get job in L&T or in some other companies where I have contacts. I feel bad to say NO to many of the requests or for those whom I can’t help. They get disappointed… I can understand. Parents invest their life time earned money just to see their sons or daughters getting degree in engineering.

They think that jobs are easily available for engineers. After interviewing many of them, I can’t even tell them that your son or daughter do not even have minimum required technical knowledge. Getting first class or distinction has become so easy without having fundamental knowledge of engineering. It’s high time for parents to stop running behind engineering degrees.

USA produces around 1 lakh engineers per year for a $16 trillion economy.

India produces 15 lakhs engineers for a $2 trillion economy.

The earlier mass recruiting sector was Manufacturing. It used to recruit from the core branches like Electrical, Mechanical, Civil etc. But, Manufacturing is relatively stagnant at 17% of the GDP. So the core branch placements have become very difficult.

The more recent mass recruiter was the IT sector. It grew from scratch to almost 5% of the GDP in a short time. IT Employed millions of engineers.

Now, IT is also saturating. Only good, skilled IT Engineers are in demand.

If you look at the sectoral composition of Indian economy, most of the sectors do not need engineers. Tourism is 10% of the GDP, does not require engineers. Financial sector, Trade, Hotels and Restaurants do not require engineers. Requirement of engineers in Health, Education, Agriculture is also negligible.

More than 50% of the GDP has no role for Engineers. Still most of Indian youth are becoming Engineers. The situation is not sustainable .

Demand is low while supply is high. Over and above this, skill level of an average engineer is poor, almost its non-existent in many cases. If we leave aside the top 100–200 colleges, most fresh engineers have no idea of what they studied. Ask a fresh mechanical engineer, can s/he design a simple frame?

Today the situation is that most engineers are working in a field that has no connection to what they have studied in the college. This is a waste of resources.

Engineering degree does not come cheap. It costs about 10-15 lakhs. For poor parents, its a huge burden. When their son / daughter is not able to secure a job, they are devastated.

For the nation, you can calculate the loss. Leave around 1 lakh engineers that NASSCOM says are employable. The rest 14 lakhs have each wasted 10 lakhs of fees. That totals to around $20 Billion. Almost equal to the Government’s spending on healthcare. Over this, there is loss of human capital.

India need to replan the whole engineering education system. Goverment need to cut down on the number of colleges and improve the quality in the rest.

Also students should explore other career options than everyone becoming Engineers.

When it comes to education, a multitude of options are available today! From Aviation, to Hotel Management, Short Term Programs to big movie production courses, Data science, cyber security, Information Security, Cloud Technology Designing, Indian Armed Forces, Animation and VFX, Digital Marketing, Film Making, Technology Courses like SQL, PHP, Big Data, C, C++, etc. and much more!
For a majority of courses like these, there are entrance exams too, such as the NATA, CEED, NID entrance, NIFT entrance, NDA entrance, MBA Entrance, Hotel Management entrance, CET, NEET and many more! Here, the right training goes a long way in getting your child admission to their dream institute! Do you know what are the top career tracks of 2018 other than engineering?? See the following list.

1. Animation, VFX and Multimedia
2. Fashion Design, Event Management and Interior decoration.
3. Aeronautical and Aviation
4. Film making, Script Writing and Acting.
5. Engineering computer, IT, cloud and data science.
6. Networking, information security.
7. Beauty, Modelling and Cosmetology
8. Fitness, dietitian and nutritionist
9. Foreign languages.
10. Music and Dance.

So, plesse share this with your relatives /friends / 12th pass students and help them in planning their education and carrer appropriately than madly running after engineering admissions!!

Death by Computer

Death by Computer

157 people recently died in a tragic crash. The crew and passengers of Ethiopian Airline Flight # ET302 on board a brand new Boeing 737 MAX 8 never had a chance.

The less than three months old plane had a new software in it. They called it MCAS or Maneuvering Characteristics Augmentations System. MCAS was a system that didn’t exist in any of the Boeing 737’s before. However, when they built the 737 MAX version, in layman’s term, they built the plane with a larger and more efficient engine.

However, this larger engine, which delivered a further 14% fuel efficiency had to be fitted further forward under the low wings of the 737. This potentially may cause the plane to stall.

In order to avoid this, Boeing installed the new MCAS software. This software is designed to tell the plane to move its nose down to increase its speed and avoid it from stalling.

So here comes the problem.

In the computer world, we have this term called GIGO. The old school fella’s will know this. Yes. Garbage In, Garbage Out.

The problem based on the findings so far is this.

On the plane there is a sensor called the Alpha Vane which measures the Angle of Attack (AOA) of the plane. It looks like a small little wing, and they have two of it, one on the pilot side, and the other on the co-pilot’s.

The sensor’s job is to tell the computer the angle the plane is flying at. And if the AOA of the plane is too high, this will result in the plane stalling. Typically the AOA is below 15 to 20 degrees, and the new MCAS software will push the plane’s nose down if it thinks that the AOA is too high.


With this flight the Alpha Vane sensor measuring the AOA on the Captain’s side was reported to be faulty. So they changed it. That fault was reported from the equally harrowing flight from Bali to Jakarta.

On the fateful final flight, the plane which arrived from Bali the night before, had the sensor changed, and then it took off in the morning.

No one knew what was really wrong with the plane, or about the new MCAS software. No one. Not the maintenance folks, and in fact not even the pilot. He apparently wasn’t trained on it yet.

So they flew the plane.

And once in the air, the faulty sensor told the computer that the plane is stalling. The computer then, without the pilot ever knowing pushed the nose of the plane down further, while the pilot was trying to raise the plane.

In this battle between the pilot and the computer, the computer won. And the pilot, the crew, and the passengers lost and they died. The plane was too low, and the pilot didn’t have enough air to raise the plane and fly it.

The computer literally flew the plane into the ocean.

A few weeks later, Boeing issued an update on the plane, and informed that should the plane have an issue with it’s AOA sensors, one of the way to stop the computer was to switch it off!

Apparently 189 lives could have been saved, had the pilot knew about the software, and flipped a switch to turn it off.

A switch!

A single simple switch was the difference between life and death.

I am still fuming thinking about this. A switch!

Computers are really going to be the end of us all, because while a man makes mistakes, to really, really screw up; you need a computer!